Fading Away
by Demigoth C. Emo
Summary: Nothing but a full of lies in Michelangelo's mind. Always abused, hurt, mocked and laughed at. Always in their shadows and is never accepted by anyone. One day, he ran away... Inspired by 2 of Culinary Alchemist's pictures, 1 of Goldzillakiller's picture on DA and "The truth behind the clown" by Raphangela. Chapter 3- Edo Lullaby. COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

**Fading Away**

**Background Song: Main Theme (Higurashi No Naku Koro Ni OST) Duration of the Song: 3:09 Characters: Michelangelo, Raphael, Donatello, Leonardo, Splinter Genre: Tragedy/Family Summary: Nothing but a full of lies in Michelangelo's mind. Always abused, hurt, mocked and laughed at. Always in their shadows and is never accepted by anyone. One day, he ran away...**

**Question Quote:**

_"You have the right to be independent The difficult part is letting go You have the right to choose your own decision The difficult part is thinking whether its right or wrong_

_You have the right to run away The difficult part is never turning back You have the right to leave a horrible life The difficult part is that it will come back to haunt you in your dreams_

_I, too, have the right to pursue happiness The difficult part is fulfilling it_

_So tell me What's the easy part in there?"_

**_-Meisaki Hasaki_**

Nothing but a full lies filled in Michelangelo's mind. Always abused, hurt, mocked and laughed at. Always in their shadows and is never accepted by anyone. He doesn't deserve this life

Why is it like this?

As they grew up, their bonds cracked like a fortune cookie and their love was tainted like ink spilling on paper. Only Michelangelo has full of love left. No matter how he tries to love his brothers back, it always ends up in mockery, abused wounds or wounds in words. It's like they say, "Words hurt."

Everyday, it would always end the same: they would mock him, hurt him in the slightest ways, or laugh at him for being stupid. At night, this would end up in tears on the corner of Michelangelo's eyes. He would toss and turn, recalling all the wounds, mockery and laughs he received. And every time the next day comes, he would hide in his pillow, tears forming more and more each day.

It was all too painful.

The only thing he had left to tell his secrets was his journal. He wouldn't call it a diary because it's embarrassing. Rather, it's called a journal. Day after day, he would right all the mockery and wounds he got from his brothers and most of the time, their father.

_"Stupid..."_

_"Asshole..."_

_"Liability..."_

The words that would never let go in his mind. It was all too painful to be true.

_"Useless..."_

_"Mistake..."_

_"Worthless..."_

If Master Splinter is the sensei, Leonardo is the leader, Raphael is the muscle, and Donatello is the genius, what is Michelangelo now?

The punching bag of the family.

That's what he thought.

Silently, he took the journal and opened it. Today was worse. Now that Raphael worked out even more, his little brother is bleeding on his cheek already and his arm twisted. Luckily, Michelangelo is a lefty so no problem in writing at all.

Sighing, he took out his pen and wrote:

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_Today was the same...but much worse._

_To make it up to them, I decided to bake some cookies. But when Raph tasted it, he beat me to a pulp already. And now what happened? Blood soon came out of my freckles and they mocked me for being naive._

_Journal, I don't know what to do anymore. All lost respect one me. Even April. I thought she was my human friend when all along, she's with them. You are only what I have left, journal. I wish Leatherhead came back. But no. He's still in Dimension X and...we can't save him already._

_When patrol came again, I ran to my room, shut my door, leaned on it, sat on the floor and cried. This time, my arm twisted...but no worries, I'm a lefty so no problem at writing here already._

_Journal, you are what I only have left to trust. If you are alive...I wish you're on my side. I don't have anyone to tell my secrets anymore except for you._

_What do you think?_

_Should I run away from this to save my own life?_

_I'll think about it._

_Signed, Mikey_

* * *

Blood soon stained the page of what he wrote; some even covered parts of a word.

At least if they read it, they would clearly understand.

He took bandages from his cabinet and started wrapping his arm and cheek once again. Then, he proceeded to his bed again and cried.

* * *

The next day, he woke up again, sobbing. It's time for another beating again. Maybe if he hides in his room? Not a good idea. It would be easy for his brothers to find him. It's obvious.

Dojo?

Too obvious.

Running away?

Still thinking about it.

"What I'm going to do already? My life is nothing but pain, suffering and loneliness. When was the last time I was even happy? Our bonds are nothing but memories already. When will I finally be accepted?"he said to himself, hugging the old teddy bear he had. It was the only thing that made him remember the joy and freedom he had when he was a young kid. And now what happened, if you ask? A locked up life, filled with misery, sorrow, horror and pain.

As the clock rose to eight, he made his bed, put the old teddy bear on the clean bed and closed the door.

"Ow! I cut myself."Donatello exclaimed as he looked at his bleeding hand. He dropped the knife and went to the lab.

This hit Mikey.

Knife...wound...running...that's it! Why won't he end the pain already by running away and killing himself? This was a genius plan he had?

Or is it?

Quickly, he ran to the dojo and spotted the sharpest thing he could find: a kunai. It was the sharpest of all of Master Splinter's weapons.

"I just need to get it without anyone spotting me."

Carefully, he climbed at the ceiling. When he saw his father (now Master since he joined in with his other sons) walking to the kitchen for breakfast, Michelangelo landed in front of the door and slowly opened it.

He looked at the latest family picture. This broke him into tears; only Splinter, Leonardo, Donatello, Raphael and April appeared in the photo, no Michelangelo appeared. It's like they're seeing him as a real punching bag already.

Crawling, he took the keys that was hidden in his Master's bed and opened the weapons' closet.

There stood in front of him was the gateway to freedom: the sharpest kunai of all.

_Let's see if they're sorry when I do this._

Once he heard footsteps, he closed the closet door, hid the keys under the pillow and disappeared using his ninja smoke bomb.

Not a single trace left.

* * *

Returning back to his room, he made a duffel bag, packed his journal and pen, left his nunchuks and mask, wrote a note, left it on his bed and sighed. He looked at the teddy bear on his bed. Carefully, he took it but held it with his arms. Walking a few steps back, he closed the door.

As his family laughed at a joke, Michelangelo sobbed. His family must be having a great time without him.

_I'm just trash to them..am I?_

Without looking back, he ran away, avoiding the tears on his face.

* * *

As night came, he felt somewhat...tired. He looked at the half moon and sighed. Then, he looked at the Central Park Zoo...maybe he will get attention for this.

_Last chance for life, do it._

He ran through the streets and made it to Central Park; the place where his death bed is.

Michelangelo took out his stuff and gently laid them out. Before taking out the kunai, he wrote a song he found on the internet the other day. He used the translyrics instead to make things easier to read. He gently placed the teddy bear on his side. Next, he gathered flowers and sprinkled them around the corners of his death bed. Finally, he took out the kunai.

If he's going to rip his stomach, it's worth it.

He put a scar on his arm. Then, he ripped his stomach at once.

"Foolish turtle..."that's all he could hear.

Then, he collapsed to the ground and bled all around.

_"I ran to the meadows and saw a mango Perfect to eat and perfect to drink But as I tried to pull the mango from the tree I came rolling from the ground, unable to stop myself from rolling_

_But by the seventh time I tried again,  
I ended up in wounds and scratches_

**_-Meisaki Hasaki_**

* * *

**Okay guys, before you flame me that this is OOC, there's a secret ending. You'll have to find out yourself until Chapter 3 is posted.**

**In the mean time, I want to hear it from you guys first. This got me in when I read "The truth about the clown" fanfic by Raphangela. It broke my heart while reading and listening to the background song for this chapter. This was used in Higurashi Kai episode 1 when Rena now an adult remembered the good times she had with her friends and the horrible scene burned into her eyes her when she killed Rika in front of the Furude shrine...and maybe this was used in some other seasons in some episodes. This also got me hooked when I was searching in DA for pics in Culinary Alchemist's gallery and I saw three pictures: one with a sad Mikey and three brothers on a side of the pic that says "Do I disappoint you?", the next one was a sad Mikey but angry brothers, Splinter and April that says "I just want to make you smile" and the last one was when Mikey's stomach was bleeding and the thought said "Foolish Turtle". Thanks, Culinary Alchemist.**

**Meisaki Hasaki is my OC.**

**For those who are reading "When We Met", I'm still in the middle of Chapter 5.**

**So, what do you think?**

**UPDATED: I had to edit the asnwer quote because I thought this wasn't right...**


	2. Chapter 2

**Fading Away**

**Background Song: Seizensetsu/Doctrine of Fundamentally Good (English Version) (Bernkastel's Image Song)  
Duration of the Song: 2:53  
Characters: Michelangelo, Raphael, Donatello, Leonardo, Splinter, April  
Genre: Tragedy/Family  
Summary: Nothing but a full of lies in Michelangelo's mind. Always abused, hurt, mocked and laughed at. Always in their shadows and is never accepted by anyone. One day, he ran away...  
Anything related to this: Youtube vid called "TMNT I just want to make you guys happy" by gloomygirlycutie (my account)**

**Bonus Quote:**

_"The first time I found out someone is dead  
I laughed, thinking it was just a joke  
The second time I found out that someone's dead  
My laughter decreased, my mind thinking it is the truth_

_But by the seventh time I found out  
I end up crying to myself and saying,  
'What have I done?'"_

**_-Aubree Fuzuki_**

Breakfast came and no one ever noticed that Michelangelo was gone. Morning passed and they were happier than ever. They had a bountiful breakfast, a straight training and everyone did their own thing without being distracted. Donatello even finished twenty-seven inventions in just an hour and ten minutes...which meant two hours to spare.

By the end of _Space Heroes_, Leo decided to use his time for meditation. But a news flashed.

* * *

"Breaking News. A giant turtle, bleeding and dead is found in Central Park this morning at seven. This deliberately brought shock to every citizen of New York. We now go to Elmer Watterson for a better close up of this turtle."Chuck Charles said.

The camera soon turned to Central Park, where Michelangelo lay dead and where everyone stared at him with shocking eyes.

"Well, this body was found exactly at seven this morning. According to the inspection scanner, it seemed that the creature died two minutes and six seconds before six. We now go to the boy who found the bleeding corpse, Ben Arold."Elmer said.

"It was this morning. I was on my way to the zoo for an early set up for a picnic with my friends. Once I came in, I screamed when I saw...this...this...giant turtle! When I was doing some inspection, I found a teddy bear, flowers and a diary that might have been written by the turtle. I opened it and began reading each page. I found out that the turtle is actually abused by some of his 'brothers' and 'father'. The last thing he wrote was a small poem that said on the top 'To my bros and father'. I also found out that the turtle is a boy and its name is Michelangelo Hamato or Mikey. Also, it appeared to be that he is actually a teenager at 15. anyway, that's all I know."Ben said.

"Folks, you heard it here. If you by chance saw those brothers and father of the creature named Michelangelo, call the police quick. This is too serious."Chuck said.

* * *

Raphael laughed.

"A creature...Mikey...is dead?"Raphael couldn't stop laughing.

"I don't know Raph. This sounds too serious, according to Chuck. Maybe I gotta look for him."Leonardo said, bringing his katana blades out.

"Now what, you've gone soft?"Raph teased.

"Raph, it's not that-"

"Raph may be right, Leo. Its what he deserves, anyway."Donnie said, preparing lunch. Leo sighed and went to the dojo to meditate.

* * *

Later at lunch when Raph flipped to another channel, the same news came back.

"Tomorrow, the scientists will come and bring this Michelangelo to their lab for study, inspection and dissection. In the mean time, the turtle will be in extra security."Chuck Charles said.

"Again?"Leonardo asked.

"Call me crazy...but I'm starting to worry."Donatello said. "Meh...it might be a trick."Raphael said. Splinter couldn't do anything but shook his head.

* * *

Later that night, it was the third time the news came up.

"Okay, I'm starting to worry a bit."Raph muttered.

* * *

Raph rolled around on his bed, how and saying "Mikey...no..please..."

* * *

_"Raphie..."_

_He could hear his voice...but where is it? The trees withered and everything turned into snow._

_"It's not even Christmas yet."_

_"Raphie...!"_

_Raph could hear his voice. The sweet little voice that belonged to his brother. He saw a thick ooze of blood, passing their way into the thick snow._

_Wait, blood? Could this be his...?_

_"Raphie...!"_

_Raph ran around the streets, following the trail of blood. WHat happened to his little brother...what just happened?_

_Now, he was just worried._

_A few seconds later and he found the lime body. His baby brother was lying on the thick, whie snow, bleeding while tainting the snow._

_"Mikey!"Raph exclaimed, tears forming. Leo and Donnie soon came._

_"We're sharing the same dreams?"Leo asked. Raph nodded._

_"Where is Mike-Oh my gosh, Mikey! What happened to you?"Donnie asked holding his baby brother's fragile hand, tears forming._

_"Some people...pushed me off the building and ran over me, thinking I was just a piece of road."Mikey said, coughing in between his sentences. Donnie held his hand tighter. Leo and Raph soon joined in, tears forming._

_Then, there was a door opening. An angel in white cloth came. Gently, he took Mikey away from them._

_"Mikey, wait! Please!"_

_"I'm sorry guys, my time's up. It's time for me to go. But I'll see you later."Mikey said happily, leaving. The infinite corridor closed, leaving only a trail of blood._

_"Mikey!"_

* * *

Raph woke up, breathing deeply and fast.

Once he went to the living room, he found Leo and Donnie, sitting on the couch, shaking in fear.

"So it was just sa dream, huh?"Raph asked.

"The angel, yes...the part where was dead in the news...no."Leo said. Raph gasped when he realized something:

His baby brother **_is_**dead.

With one breath, he spoke in determinaton,"Let's go get Mikey back."

* * *

The next day, they went directly to Mikey's room for some thorough searching.

Then, Leo found a piece of paper.

"Guys, this it."Leo said.

With one hand, he opened the letter and read:

_Dear everyone,_

_I don't feel like I don't belong here anymore. I'll be ending my own life like I shoudl have long time ago. I did my best to make everyone smile. But I was never stupid. I never was. You guys always treat me like I am a useless, piece of toy. Well, this toy will be wrecked._

_Thank you guys._

_Mikey_

"No..."Raph said, tears forming. Leo and Donnie found themselves crying too.

"I think I know where now..."Donnie said.

* * *

The three brothers quickly ran to Central Park to get Mikey back. The scientists weren't there so they could do it easily. The only problem is that four security cameras watched over Mikey.

Donnie brought out the coffee pot and poured it on each camera. The camera broke and shut down.

Raph and Leo soon picked up Mikey's limp body and with Donnie, they headed to the lab...for the funeral.

* * *

After Splinter and April sat down with tears, the three brothers looked at Mikey's dead body.

Leo took out the poem and looked at it.

"This was the one you wrote Mikey. I don't think this is really yours. Maybe you just got it from someone else. Now, time to spread it to everyone."Leo said, facing everyone.

With a confident sigh, Leo opened the poem:

_If I  
Seemed to be a demon,  
Then let's praise me  
For a little bit.  
Even if blood flows when you grip  
Onto my cold, white, little fingers..._

Your smiling face from the distant days  
Is never found.  
But if I'm at fault  
Then someday...

Please, from your heart  
Hate and kill the cruel me.

If the wounded words decay  
And the redness that scours this world vanishes.

Please, please, please smile...  
And kill the cruel me.  
Don't grieve,  
If you vow to kill me.  
Then the shining blueness will fall upon the two of us.

Someone, please smile at me.  
And learn of the unnoticeable truth.  
I want you to grasp my fingers that tremble too much.  
I wonder why you're sad like this...

_"Please don't deplore yourself  
Even if the world doesn't forgive you, I'll forgive you  
Please don't deplore yourself  
Even if you don't forgive the world, I'll forgive you_

_So please tell me,  
What will it take for you to forgive me?"_

_-Frederica Bernkastel_

This made the rest sob even more.

Then, the coffin was lowered as all the flowers were on top of it. Splinter gulped. No father should have buried his child. But now, he found himself doing it.

With a sigh, they all walked away, leaving tears down the way.

* * *

**Sorry for the late update. Chappie 2 was the hardest to write. Like I said, June 10 is my start of 6th grade so updates might be slower on some stories.**

**I guarentee, you guys might know what the happy ending is. It might be formed into a short one-shot in a multichapter story. :)**

**Now, tell me what you guys might think. Thanks for the five reviews. I love you, peeps!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Fading Away  
Song: Edo No Komori Uta  
Duration of the Song: 1:45  
Characters: Michelangelo, Raphael, Donatello, Leonardo, Splinter  
Genre: Tragedy/Family  
Summary: Nothing but a full of lies in Michelangelo's mind. Always abused, hurt, mocked and laughed at. Always in their shadows and is never accepted by anyone. One day, he ran away...**

Raph woke up in a jolt. He took time to calm himself down and sigh. Geting up from bed, he looked at Leo and Donnie, sitting on the couch. Leo looked up at the hothead and sighed.

"You got the same dream, didn't you?"Leo asked.

Raph sighed.

"Yeah. The one where Mikey killed himself at the start?"

"Yeah."

"Me too."

Raph sat down, looking down. Donnie offered him a glass of water. Raph accepted it and drank.

Leo sighed.

"You guys think this will happen?"Leo asked.

Raph looked at Leo as he set down the empty glass. "I just hope not."

"If it does...I don't know what to do."Donnie said.

"Me too."Raph said.

"Same here."Leo added.

They stayed on the couch without another word, replaying how they treated him badly. Tears slipped out of their faces; Raph even covered his face so his brothers wouldn't tell by his real emotion right now. But upon looking at the covered face, they knew it.

A mumble was heard; loud enough to alert his brothers.

"No...don't...leave me..."

It was Mikey.

Leo slowly opened the door.

Mikey twisted and turned, covering his head with a pillow. His body shivered and his legs looked like he was running.

"Mikey having a nightmare?"Donnie asked. Leo nodded as he went in. Gently, Leo placed Mikey's head on his chest and hugged him. Leo hushed him. Raph and Donnie patted his shell.

In a jolt, Mikey woke up. But his vision seemed a bit blurry.

"G-Guys?"Mikey asked.

"We're here, Mike. And we won't leave you."Donnie cooed. Mikey smiled and drifted of to sleep.

Leo, Raph and Donnie soon collapsed on his bed and hugged Mikey as if they were sharing a teddy bear.

Soon, Donnie's voice filled the whole room...

_Nennen korori yo, Okorori yo.  
Bōya wa yoi ko da, Nenne shina~_

Bōya no omori wa, Doko e itta?  
Ano yama koete, Sato e itta.

Sato no miyage ni, Nani morotta?  
Denden taiko ni, Shō no fue.

And soon enough, Donnie let himself fall asleep too.

The rest of the night was peaceful and the three brothers made a vow that they would protect him no mater what.

* * *

**Short? I know...**

**I really hate to say goodbye to this story (even though I love to) and thank you for reading. The book that also inspired me to do this is "Chinese Cinderella" by Adeline Yeh Mah.**

**See you in the next upcoming fic, "Shards". (I hope).**

**Summary: A broken reflection, a broken piece, a lost world and a fate to be destroyed. If he hadn't broke the fragment by accident, he would still be messing with his brothers. But unfortunately, he can reverse time. Now how is he going to cope with this new-found land? Answer: Getting rid of a curse.**

**I hope I'll use this one.**


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